Quite often, when the topic of health comes up, folks start
talking about diets, exercise or the latest fitness fad. Well, what role does happiness play in our
health? The answer is it plays a big
role! Some would argue that being happy is one of the, if not the, most
important thing in life. I am going to
have to agree with that. Besides, if we
are not happy, it doesn’t really matter how healthy we eat, how much we train,
how we look or the material things we have…think about it. So how can people “train” themselves to be
happier? The process is actually pretty
easy. It starts with choosing their
perspective.
Life is a curious thing.
The beliefs that we form determine our reality and define who we are. I
will explain that a little later but first a story. I can vividly remember waking up to start my
day in the back seat of a broken down car, camp site, or wherever I could find
a place to sleep where the bugs and heat were tolerable. I was 14 years old and had been homeless for
a few months living just outside of Austin at Bull Creek. Contrary to how it may sound, I was actually
quite happy and looked forward to each day because it truly was an adventure.
Some days would be spent dumpster diving, hustling for work
or money, exploring the creek, hunting snakes, ducks, craw-dads (as we would
call them) or any other critter we could eat.
Many evenings would be spent around a campfire sharing stories with
others. Some days I might get lucky and
actually find a place to take a shower and sleep inside a real house or have a
hot meal. Coming across money was
actually pretty easy...it was just a numbers game. I would hit gas stations or stores and ask if
I could clean up, take out trash, stock coolers or any kind of work for a few
bucks. Most folks appreciated a kid
wanting to work so I could usually get a few dollars and let me tell you, I
learned how to stretch a dollar!
Well, as things would have it and thanks to some amazing
people and opportunities, I eventually got back to regular living. For those who know me, this little nugget of
my past may be a surprise and for those who don’t, I must say that life has
taken me to some really cool places and I am truly living my dreams. I have a wonderful wife and kids, super cool career,
and have the opportunities to pursue my passions…such as writing and teaching…plus,
go on some nice vacations.
Under such unusual circumstances, how can a person overcome
these types of obstacles and still end up living a fulfilling and rewarding life? Simple…they choose to.
Allow me to explain.
Our reality is formed from our beliefs, our beliefs from our feelings,
our feelings from what we say to ourselves, what we say to ourselves…which we
control…is from what we see, hear and experience. That is the foundation for Emotional
Intelligence, which is a fascinating subject.
Essentially, we control what we say to ourselves, which ultimately
determines our reality. Have ya ever
heard it is thought that is the basis of reality? Thoughts become words, words become actions
and actions become reality. It’s true…I
know, that just blew your mind.
For example,
think of any person that, when you first met them, you thought was a jerk and later,
when you got to know them, you actually liked them. Why is that?
Well it is because, based on your first impression of them, you had an
internal dialogue or told yourself something.
It may have been “look at that guy, he just looks arrogant, what an asshole!” Based on that, you felt dislike or contempt
for that person resulting in your belief that he/she actually is an asshole and
you might of even spread a few rumors on what a prick they were. Later, circumstances arose resulting with you
and the asshole spending some time together and you realized that you were
mistaken and that they are actually a good person and you like them! Now who is
the asshole? Don’t answer that…
The moral of the story is, most of the time, what we think
is real actually isn’t and is just a product of what we say to ourselves or
convince ourselves to be real. Want to
feel better about yourself, others, the world, have a better marriage, be
successful, and be healthy and happy?
Then chose to be and learn to be mindful of your feelings, self-talk and
beliefs. Mindfulness, another
fascinating topic, is closely tied to Emotional Intelligence and gives us the
ability to shape our reality and truly be happy.
Most of us are, out of habit and routine, stuck in
behavioral patterns and don’t even know it.
To get “unstuck” we must make a conscious effort to be mindful of our
own thoughts and perceptions. It takes
practice, but like everything else, with enough practice, will become routine
and will happen without even thinking about it.
Additionally, improving our Mindfulness improves our ability to be empathetic
and understand others. Compassion and a
sense of connection to others are some of the keys to being happy.
Ok, so what about this happiness stuff? For you fellow health nerds, being happy is
one of the pieces of the fitness/health puzzle and I would venture to say the
most important! From a biological stand
point, when we are happier our cortisol is lower and serotonin and dopamine are
at ideal levels. What does that
mean? It means our immune system is working
accordingly, our blood sugar is lower thus our insulin, we have lower risk of
degenerative disease and depression, there is less need to take meds with
harmful side effects, we can lose fat easier, we increase our longevity and,
dammit, we just feel better! Impressive
list.
To understand how to be happy, we must first understand that
happiness is based on appreciation. To
appreciate anything, we must take the time to mindful of the environment, ourselves
and be in the moment, a very important concept.
Learning to appreciate is the first step to being happy. Remember happiness is a choice…we control
it...other people do not make us happy BUT our ability to appreciate them
can! I bet that just blew your mind
too. If you are not happy, it’s because
you choose to be.
Another important key to being happy is to follow
what your passionate about. Those of you
involved in a relationship know that compromise is part of a healthy
relationship but when we begin to compromise our passion for the sake of
another, resentment begins to fester and you now have a recipe for a toxic
relationship.
So what about that kid at the beginning of our story? Why was
he happy? I will tell you…it is because
he learned to appreciate damn near everything and learned to focus on solutions
instead of problems. He chose the perspective that every day was an adventure. He was living in the moment and, most importantly, he
chose to be happy.
I heard something one time, forgot where, but have been practicing
it ever since. Practice an “attitude of
gratitude.” An easy way to start is upon
waking, take a moment and think about what you are grateful for. It doesn’t matter how small it may be. Do this every day! Before you know it, it is a new behavioral
pattern and it will happen without thinking about it and the world becomes a better place. Once this becomes the norm, it
allows us to be in the moment and increase our awareness of others and
ourselves. On a cool note, this also
allows us to turn off our limbic system, responsible for our emotional
reactions, and activate our pre-frontal cortex, responsible for reasoning and
cognitive processes. Basically, we make
better decisions and have less stress. Using
our willpower and ability to choose, we give our self a new perspective and can
create a new reality. We are just
scratching the surface on this topic, but just this little bit of information
can be life changing if you chose to use it.
For me happiness and spirituality are closely
intertwined. My faith allows me to
accept many things for what they are, realize that some things cannot be
changed and I don’t have to understand why everything happens. My faith has also taught me that we are all
given a set of circumstances, whatever they may be, and also the opportunities
to choose what we want our life to be. This is a very profound concept and for
some, can be very difficult to accept because instead of blaming others or society or creating some false sense of
entitlement, it makes us accountable for our feelings, our choices and the life we live.
Ok, so here are some simple guidelines to improving our
happiness (everyone loves simple guidelines):
- · Be mindful of your thoughts and emotions and where they come from
- · Improve Emotional Intelligence by managing our self talk
- · Practice an “attitude of gratitude”…learn to be grateful!
- · Know that you control your perspective and reality
- · Practice being empathetic and stay connected with others
- · Take time…just 10 minutes a day…to be in the moment (meditate)
- · Do a random act of kindness every day
- · Have a sense of purpose
- · Nurture spirituality
- · Follow your passions
- · Chose to be happy
Want to learn more about this stuff, here are a few books of
interest for ya:
- · Brain Rules by John Medina
- · Crucial Confrontations by Kerry Patterson
- · Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
- · Mindful Nation by Tim Ryan
- · New Beliefs New Brain by Lisa Wimberger
- · Super Brain by Deepak Chopra
So, happiness can do several amazing things. It improves our health, longevity, our
relationships with others, allows our lives to be more fulfilling and
ultimately makes the world a better place.
Using a few simple guidelines, we can begin to improve and reshape our
perspective leading to a happier “you” and ability to create the life we want
and deserve. Remember, it is up to you
to decide what kind of life you want to live…. what will you choose?
