Healthy, Happy Kids, Food and You.

 

So there we are with the kiddos, and they are hungry.  We just got home from work, we are tired and just want to play some Candy Crush…or drink a beer, but the villagers are restless and getting loud.  What to do?  We can toss the frozen pizza in the oven or microwave or actually get off our ass and prepare a meal.  Does it make difference?  Well of course it does.  The health and happiness of our children is one of the most important things, if not the most important things, to us.  I know, I know…some pizza or junk food every now and then is fine and also fun.  The key to our kids health starts with a  healthy gut. The trick is finding that balance of providing what we know to be healthy and what isn’t while keeping the kids healthy AND happy. 

 

For kids who exhibit signs of auto-immune diseases, such as eczema, allergies, ADHD, autism, obesity, Celiac’s or acne, the ability to have some junk food will be greatly diminished or completely eliminated altogether.  In these situations, it is likely that gut health has already been damaged and will have to be repaired.  For most of us, we just need to maintain a healthy gut.  The focus of this article is not to tell folks to avoid junk food altogether but to know when its reasonable and what some good options are when it is time to eat healthy. Healthy gut means healthy kid.  And a healthy kid is more likely to be happy!  Either way, here is some useful information that we can use to help us make sure our kids maintain a healthy gut and get the most out of their food.  (Get ya a cup of coffee and settle in...this is a long article.)

Let’s get started.  I wrote an article titled The Key to Health Starts With Your Gut back in June of 2011. In it, I discussed the role the gut flora (good bacteria), gut permeability, gluten and the relationship between our gut and our brain. In that article, there is also a link to a Podcast with Kris Kressor that I would recommend all parents listen to. Additionally, in that article I gave a few basic guidelines regarding maintaining a healthy gut:

• eliminate gluten (the protein found primarily in wheat, barley and rye)
• keep healthy fats in the diet (saturated and Omega-3's)
• avoid processed foods, artificial flavoring and coloring
• reduce sugar intake, especially high fructose corn syrup
• eat a lot of vegetables
• exercise
• eat foods with healthy bacteria in them such as fermented foods and yogurt
• reduce stress (this is more for us not the kids)
• reduce acidic foods and increase alkaline foods (vegetables are a great source, good luck getting kids to eat these…with some creativity, it can be done)
• reduce Omega-6's

For parents with kids who have ADHD/ADD, it is important to understand the role that gluten with gut health and the brain. Remember, a healthy gut equals a healthy brain.  If you can take the time to read the other article first and/or listen to the Podcast, it will help. If not, you will still learn a few things.
 

Let's start with a little history. Within the last hundred years or so, it is estimated that our consumption of sugar has increased about 10 times and we have introduced not only processed foods, trans fats but also genetically modified foods and commercially raised meats, that have a very poor health profiles compared to grass fed meats. All of this in the last 100 years, which is not enough time for us to make the genetic adaptations needed to tolerate these changes. As a result, cardio vascular disease, Alzheimer's, cancer, diabetes, obesity, depression and other behavioral disorders and Multiple Sclerosis, to name a few,  have increased as a result.

Another health issue that has grown exponentially since the early 80's is ADHD or ADD in children. Also the drugs used to treat them, is the largest growing market for pharmaceutical drugs for kids. And doctors are writing more and more prescriptions.  The more the medical industry can label, the more drugs that can be sold.

 

 

When we introduce high levels of sugar and carbs into a child's diet we are causing a rapid fluctuation in blood sugar levels. The body subsequently releases adrenaline and cortisol in response which activates our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) also known as the fight or flight response. Now this may not be a problem for all children but those who have food sensitivities (a sign of poor gut health) or who have been eating this way for a long time, this SNS response becomes a problem. It suddenly becomes more difficult to sit, listen, focus and behave when these hormones are released. So what are we told to do? Instead of looking at the underlying cause, our medical system suggests just give them prescription drugs which eventually makes things worse. An obvious fix for this should be avoiding excess carbs and maintaining regular consumption of healthy protein and fats.

Since the 70's, when most meat began to be raised commercially, the health profile suffered dramatically. A source of Omega-3's (EPA/DHA), which are essential for brain development and reducing inflammation, was suddenly taken out of our diet. Unless your kid is taking a fish oil supplement or eating grass fed meats, wild caught fish or raw dairy it is highly likely that they are already deficient in Omega-3's. Add to that the rise in sugar consumption and it’s no wonder why ADHD/ADD and other behavioral disorders and obesity are on the rise in children. It’s pretty scary.

There is more. Gluten, which is a protein found in many grains primarily wheat, barley and rye, is another problem. If you read the previous article, you will have a better understanding. Basically, gluten is bad, really bad. It damages our small intestine causing nutritional malabsorption, inflammation as well as causing many auto immune responses. What is the cure? Avoid gluten. Research indicates that 70-80 percent of all people with ADHD are gluten sensitive. The same study indicated that over half of those with ADHD have Celiac Disease, which is basically a severe systematic allergic reaction to gluten. The cure? Yes, again, avoid gluten. Additionally, children with ADHD have almost 300% greater risk of developing long term disorders like Bi-Polar disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia and Alzheimer's. So its extremely important to take this seriously.

Those with gluten intolerance or Celiac's experience several physiological reactions in the body in response to gluten. One of those reactions is an inflammation in the frontal lobes of the brain. That is the part that controls short term memory, planning, higher functioning and concentration. Pretty interesting, huh? In a 2005 study by Verkasalo, it was determined that cognitive function decline and underachievement in post-secondary education is 400% more likely with gluten sensitivity. So this affects adults as well.

The message is if someone has ADHD it is highly likely that they have gluten sensitivity or Celiac's, and likewise, it is highly likely that someone with Celiac's or gluten sensitivity has ADHD or other behavioral disorders. The message is also this:

• Identify sources of gluten. They are not only in foods but are in skin care products.
• Eliminate those sources of gluten.
• For those with ADHD or behavioral disorders, in addition to eliminating gluten, reduce overall carb load and add healthy fats, including Omega-3's, and proteins.

I know, first hand, about the challenges a child with ADHD may have. One of my kids was diagnosed with ADHD. I did some tinkering with his diet and found that when the gluten, processed foods and artificial flavor and coloring is gone, his grades go up, he can focus better, he remembers things better and overall, feels better. When those foods are introduced, all of those symptoms come back including feelings of being tired and having headaches. Its amazing what a little change in diet can do. I can't stress enough the importance of this to parents to really take a look at what their kids are eating and consider what long term effects that may have.

If you or someone you know has ADHD, take a close look at their diet. By a making a few changes in the foods we put in our body, not only do improve our gut health but we ensure that our brain, mood, memory and overall quality of life can improve.

So what about sugar????
 

Are we poisoning ourselves and our kids with too much sugar? First, let's talk about what sugar really is. All sugars are carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are chains of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. They can vary from complex starchy carb chains, like those found in sweet potatoes or simple "sugar" carb chains like those found in fruits. Glucose is the simplest form of "sugar" that our body can use as fuel.

When we digest carbs, the ultimate goal is to break them down to a usable form of energy, which is glucose. Our brain can only use glucose for fuel, thank goodness because the brain is primarily comprised of fat! The brain can also use ketones, which are byproducts of fat metabolism when we consume little to no carbs. Our kidneys are another organ that uses glucose as its primary fuel source. So the brain has to have glucose. No glucose means poor brain function which can range from poor memory to more serious conditions like Alzheimer's, Depression and Bi-polar disorder.

The brain uses about 4-6 grams of glucose per hour and the kidneys, significantly less, about 1 gram. If we do the math, this means our body only needs about 150 grams of carbs, or less, per day. Anything over that, and we are driving insulin up unnecessarily high, unless we are trying to gain weight. Remember, we have to have insulin but if we are not replenishing depleted glycogen stores, insulin drives glucose into the liver where it is converted to and stored as fat. If that isn't bad enough, when our insulin is high our brain is competing with it for glucose. And guess what?? If your brain isn't getting enough glucose, you know what it tells you to eat? That's right, more carbs...and before you know it, you are caught in a negative feedback loop that makes you crave carbs, diminishes cognitive function (stupid), store fat and develop insulin resistance (type-2 diabetes.)

Interestingly enough, our body has redundant systems to make sure our brain gets its glucose if we don't consume enough carbs. The body can do this by breaking down protein and fat. That's why there are essential fatty acids and amino acids...there are no essential carbohydrates. Simply put, we, as humans, are designed to function and be very healthy on a low carb intake, which makes sense since large amounts of carbs are relatively new to our diet. Nowadays, we are flooded with carbs everywhere we look and are told that we should have 6-11 servings per day!!! Total bullshit.  As usual, I am digressing...back to sugar.

There are several types of sugar. Here are four of the most common:

• sucrose (table sugar) a disaccharide made of one glucose and one fructose
• lactose (milk sugar) a disaccharide made of glucose and galactose
• galactose a monosaccharide found in animal products
• fructose (fruit sugar) found in...duh...fruit and is the sweetest of all the sugars

The two that we are going to talk about are the most commonly found: Sucrose and Fructose.

Here is the issue. Glucose is a primary metabolic fuel for the body...especially the brain. If the brain can't get enough glucose, the body uses fats and breaks down protein to glucose as fuel or the brain tells the body to eat more carbs. Remember if insulin, a fat storage hormone, is high, our body loses the ability to metabolize protein and stored fat and our brain suffers. The message is simple; reduce the insulin load by reducing the carb load.

Over the history of our existence, our bodies have learned to metabolize glucose very efficiently in the liver. Now enter fructose. Even though fructose is classified as a sugar it is metabolized completely different than glucose. Once consumed, fructose is not allowed to enter the bloodstream and is absorbed and metabolized solely by the liver. What other substances are not allowed into the bloodstream and metabolized solely by the liver? Yep, toxins. Hmmmm...

When fructose, which is very sweet, enters the body we begin to produce a hormone called ghrelin which stimulates hunger. This makes sense, when we taste or smell something good; nature has programmed us to eat. Ghrelin levels are reduced when insulin goes up. What releases insulin? Elevated blood sugar. This also makes sense because if our blood sugar is going up that means we are getting carbs and have probably had enough to eat.
 

Here is the problem. When we consume fructose, our body can't use it, like other toxins, and the liver has to do something with it. So what it does is actually pull more glucose out of the blood into the liver and begins breaking down fructose. The end result is the liver turning fructose into fatty acids, some of which make it to the blood as triglycerides, and the others as fat deposits in the liver.
So short version: fructose pulls more glucose into the liver, which reduces the ghrelin/hunger response, which signals a person to keep eating, which raises insulin, which prevents the brain from getting what it wants, and increases fat storage and fat deposits on the liver...also called fatty liver disease...which is common in alcoholics…and we eventually become sick and obese. So fructose, in many ways, is metabolized like alcohol and other toxins and causes some serious health problems.

Some sources of fructose are:

• fruit, which when eaten in its natural state contain fiber which diminishes fructose absorption
• table sugar-sucrose (50% glucose and 50% fructose)
• High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) (55% or more fructose, the rest glucose)...the worst of all. Sweeter than sugar, cheaper to make, and found in just about everything processed, sold in a box, sodas and....drum roll...kids juices and snacks.

It was a genius marketing idea to put HFCS if everything because it is sweet, causing a ghrelin response (hunger), and lowers glucose so certain industries can make claims that it is lower on the glycemic index, thus furthering our "carb craving" so we have to eat even more...pretty smart. Too bad it is hepatoxic and makes us fat and stupid not to mention increase diabetes and cardio-vascular disease.

Thanks to the soda companies, HFCS consumption climbed from 3 million tons to 8 million tons in 1980. According to the Center of Disease Control, it was about this time that obesity and even type-II diabetes began to increase in not only adults but children as well...and continues to rise.

It is easy to now see how high levels of sugar and HFCS can cause a long list of health problems including behavioral and mood disorders. Check out these stats from the Center of Disease Control on ADHD and its rise in America. Hmmm...more disease=more medications=more $$ for drug companies. Also, I don't know about you, but I see a correlation here...increase in carbs=increase in ADHD and related illnesses. If you ever google "ADHD diet" you will find a long list of recommendations that look almost identical to Paleo Diet....coincidence?
 

One of the theories about fructose consumption dates back to the evolution of humans. For the majority of our existence, carbs were very scarce and often available on a seasonal basis. Fruit is the primary source of fructose. Fruits are usually ripe and in season in the fall. The large amount in fructose in fruits drive hunger and allow us to gorge on carbs and to build an extra layer of fat which allows to survive the winter more easily. The point is we are designed to be very healthy with low carbs and occasionally gorge on carbs...unfortunately most folks get caught in the latter.

Ever heard that sugar is addicting? Well, it’s true. Sugar meets all the criteria as addictive drugs...except its legal, cheap and everywhere. Here are the criteria for addicting substances:

• Tolerance is developed
• Withdrawal
• Persistent desire
• Negative consequences

Another problem with sugar is that it accelerates the production of AGE's (advanced glycation end products.) These are harmful products from metabolizing glucose that oxidize (this is bad) and increase free radicals which damages our cells. We need anti-oxidants to combat free radicals. Fruits, especially berries, contain anti-oxidants. Interesting how nature already figured this out and put fiber and anti-oxidants with sources of fructose and sugar. Its only when we remove sugar from its natural state that we exponentially increase its harmful effects.
 

Here is a great article that Gary Taubes, author of Why We Get Fat recently wrote for the New York Times. In it, he writes about the history of HFCS in the American Diet and the associated rise in diseases and provides some compelling evidence.

If you have kids, this video is a must see. It is a lecture given by Dr. Robert Lustig. The video is a little over an hour long…I know, I know that’s pretty long, but he goes into the microbiology of fructose and shows how it is a toxin...and gives the simple version too.  Some of you nerd-type like myself will enjoy it.
 

This is the message guys. Limit or restrict the use of sugar and fructose. First start by identifying sources and cutting back on those sources and replace them with healthier choices, like healthy meats, fats or vegetables or fruits.  Fruits contain soluble fiber and nutrients, but since they contain fructose we should limit consumption to one to two servings per day. If possible, replace sugar or other sweeteners with natural organic honey. It may contain more calories per serving but it contains less fructose than table sugar. And get rid of all those fruit drinks!! They are loaded with fructose.

So a real quick summary for a healthy gut and healthy kid:

·         Provide fruits and veggies…yes this may be a challenge

·         Healthy fats such as

o   Coconut oil

o   Saturated fats from healthy meats

o   Omega-3’s…from wild/grass fed sources or supplements

o   Olive oil

o   Butter from Grassfed cows

·         Avoid processed foods with artificial colors and flavors

·         Reduce overall gluten intake…for some kiddos, this may have to be all together

·         Limit sugar

·         Avoid high fructose corn syrup

Studies have shown that occasional exposure to certain toxins like alcohol and fructose can be very healthy for the liver and ensures that it maintains its effectiveness at removing "bad" stuff. But, like all things, too much can be very harmful. Don't panic. This doesn't mean you or the kids can't have sugar again...because you can. It just means, by educating yourself with some useful knowledge, you can make better decisions for not only yourself but for you family as well.

 

So, once again, if you don't take my word for it, please, seek out the knowledge and do your research...it can only help.  I believe in keeping our children healthy and happy, so work to find that balance that works for you and your family.  I also believe that the more we, as parents, better understand food and the human body the better we can ensure both the health and happiness for our kids…what else is more important than that?

If you made it to the end of this article, congratulations!  I know, it was longer than usual.  Please let me know what ya think.  It’s the feedback I get that keeps me motivated.

 

Additional Sources:

The Journal Of Attention Disorders, March 2006, 1-5. Verkasalo, M. “Undiagnosed Celiac Disease: A Risk for Underachievement.” Scandanavian Journal of Gastroenterology, 40:1407-12

Campbell-McBride, Natasha. Gut and Psychology Syndrome.  Medinform Publishing, 2010.

 

 

How to Make New Year's Resolution Habits Stick!

Wanna actually stick to your New Year's Resolutions this year?

 First, I want to emphasize that I am not a doctor and recommend before you make any changes in diet or exercise, always consult with your doctor.  Now that I got out of the way, let's get to it.  We have all been there…we get inspired, make a plan to start working out or eating better and we dive in head first and everything is great for about, ohhh two weeks, then it fizzles out.  Sound familiar?  How do those other folks stick to their plan or those diets…how do they look like that!!! What do they know that I don't!!!  Well the answer lies in how we make things a habit.

Habits are routines that we develop and, once created, perform with little or no thought.  We get up, brush our teeth, go to the kitchen start coffee and sit down to read or turn on the TV…without even thinking about it.  Think about every habit…good or bad…that you currently have.  If we take a close look, we would find that each habit has a cue or trigger, followed by a routine and then a reward.  Habits often fail because we set a long term goal as the reward.  Here is the problem, if it is a longterm goal, then its gonna be a loooong time until we get the reward.  So how do we fix it?  Before we get there, let's take a closer look. 

First we have to recognize that once a habit is formed in our brain, it never goes away.  It can be modified if we practice, but two things remain: the cue and the reward.  The routine is the part we can change.  Take drinking alcohol for example.  Often folks begin drinking because they are around other people in a social setting.  So the cue is being in a social setting or wanting to feel connected to others.  Then they develop the routine of drinking when they get that cue and then experience the reward of feeling connected or relaxed.  So over time, every time they are in a social setting or want to feel connected they are cued to drink.  That is one part.  The next part comes later.  Over time, the reward of feeling connected or relaxed is achieved by the routine of drinking alcohol.  So when a person desires the reward of feeling connected or relaxed, they automatically go to the routine of drinking.  

The cues and rewards will always be there, but the routines can change.  With practice and some self awareness, when a person is cued to drink in a social setting, they can drink a cup of coffee or tea or chew gum…or whatever ya can think of.  Over time, the reward of feeling connected to others or relaxed is associated with a new routine.  What eventually happens when a person seeks that same reward is  they will find themselves craving to drink a cup of coffee or tea…or chew gum..and less likely drinking alcohol.  We can actually create and control our habits!

That is a very simple explanation of how habits work.  How do we apply that to exercise or nutrition?  Easy:

• Pick a goal (lose ten pounds, build muscle, feel better, look better, bench more, run a 5k race…etc.)
• Make a plan
• Create a cue…here are a few
• the alarm goes off 
• ya listen to music on your way to the gym 
• you open the fridge
• ya meet up with friends
• ya drink a cup of coffee 
• Create a routine with the cue
• the alarm goes off and ya go for a jog, or do push ups 
• when the fridge is opened ya grab a veggie
• begin training with others
• begin a sport
• ya do a workout after drinking coffee
• go play at a park
• Create a short term reward with the routine (some will happen automatically)
• by going for a jog ya feel more energy, confidence and alert
• improved mood, behavior and memory
• having fun
• the veggie take the edge of hunger 
• by training with others ya feel connected or happier
• get a smoothie or healthy snack after your workout

Before ya know it, in order to get the rewards, you will naturally seek the routines that provide the rewards.  When that happens, the cues and rewards will be a permanent part of the brain.  It will be a habit.  The trick is to create some cues, give them some routines and give yourself a short term reward for completing the routine.  That is the secret.  Long term goals are great, but it takes a long time to get the reward.  If we do not create some rewards with our cues and routines, the habit never forms and we are back to where we started.

Remember exercise doesn't have to be "work."  Make it fun, get involved in sports, join a class with others, go play.  Then when we crave having fun, we resort to the routine of exercising by doing something we enjoy…and are more likely to make it a habit. 

Whether your goal is to build muscle, lose fat, improve energy or just be happier, know that it can be done and you can do it.  It is just a matter of picking the goal, creating a plan, making a cue to each routine and a reward (many of which happen without us knowing) for each routine.  Then you will have formed a habit and people will be asking how YOU do it!

These are some simple guidelines to help you make some new habits and get your New Year off to a healthy start!   Remember, you have control of your habits!

Take care, and until next time, go get some sprints in and pick up something heavy.

Wanna learn more about this topic?  Then I highly recommend two books: The Power of Habit and Brain Rules….listed below.

References:

Duhigg, Charles.  The Power of Habit. The Random House Trade Paperbacks. 2012.

Journal of Clinical Investigation, NF-kB: a key role in inflammatory diseases, Published in Volume 107, Issue 1 (January 1, 2001), American Society for Clinical Investigation

Medina, John.  Brain Rules.  First Pear Press Publishing. 2009

Pubmed.com, 2006;8 Suppl 2:S3. Epub 2006 Jul 28.

Lessons Learned

Mom, big bro and I…I'm the little guy

Sometimes, we have to take a chance, rely on faith and allow yourself to be 
vulnerable to better ourselves, others and maybe, just maybe the world.  Well 
this is one of those times for me.  I learned the value of taking those chances 
and relying on faith from one of my heroes, my mom.  The following story is 
dedicated to her, Teri Arlene Donaho, and to let her know and remind her that 
she has made that difference in me, others and now in you. 

I can still remember at the age of 6 being awakened in the middle of the night 
to watch The Beatles movie, Yellow Submarine, with my mom.  It was a bizarre 
movie, which I speculate required some LSD to truly understand. Afterwards, 
she explained some of the meanings and innuendos contained in it.  Not the 
typical conversation most kids had with their parents at that age.  We had  
quite a unique relationship.  I grew up in Austin, what I considered at the time 
a “hippie” town and my mom very much fit into that category. 

Mom and Dad 

After I lost my dad to suicide at a very young age, my mom took on the role of 
both parents.  I didn’t understand it at the time but years later, I grew to understand 
the fears and demons she battled trying to make sure my brother and I were ok.  
I know she feared that we would feel shame or resentment over the loss of my 
father, so for many years she would come to my bedroom and tell me a story 
about my dad.  Usually about one of his many athletic accomplishments, academic 
achievements, his determination and the pride and love he had for my brother and I.  
In a way she helped to allow me to create the perfect father in my head, one that I 
would not want to disappoint. 

As the years went on, she went through several relationships, some with some really 
good guys and some that were not so great.  I was pretty easy going and didn’t mind 
as long as they were good to my mom.  If they weren’t, they would have to deal with 
her protectors, my brother and I…we were hell on wheels, just ask my mom.  I watched
her work so hard, battle addiction and take on other people’s problems and she still had
the ability to show love to others without judgment and always put herself last.  I knew 
she was in pain and desperately wanted to save her.  When I was little, around 4 
years old, she would tell me stories and often begin to cry so I would tell her, “momma,
I am gonna build you a spaceship and take you away.” It was around that same age that
my mom got arrested for possession/manufacture of pot.  Not just a few plants mind you,
oh no, when she did something big, she went all in!  It was a professionally built, irrigated,
temperature controlled greenhouse that housed 999 pot plants!!!! Not bad for 1977, huh?
Yes, holyshit, that is what I said.

The day she got busted in Lampasas, Tx they surrounded our house and kicked in 
our doors and raided the house.  Quite an experience for a 4 year old.  I watched as she
was taken away in handcuffs.  The court case dragged on for many years and as my
brother and I got older we realized our mom may get sent away for a long time and that
we might end up in an orphanage. We promised if that  happened, we would
escape and live on our own.  Fortunately it never came to that, the court decided
in her favor and the worst was behind us! Or so we thought.

The next few years were pretty stable and then through a series of events we 
found ourselves on our own again struggling and eventually homeless.  One thing I
learned from my mom was if ya want something in life, ya gotta work for it.  So I began
to hustle and started working at the age of 12.  Mowing lawns, cleaning lots for gas
stations, working at construction sites throwing out trash, helping build fences and any
other odd job I could find.  In the summer of 1985 I saved up $150 to buy a bad-ass bike,
a Laser 1000. That was a lot of money back then!  I’m still pissed it was stolen.  From
that age on, if I needed something, I bought it, that included my own clothes and food. 

Bull Creek Now

Taking care of myself was easy, trying to take care of my mom was the tricky party.  
Soon we found ourselves living in campsites at Bull Creek in Austin.  Everyday was 
an adventure.  Finding food was pretty easy.  One day it might be snake, crawdaddys 
or duck and another it would be free food from a food bank.  There would be stretches 
where I wouldn’t see my mom for days at a time.  She would do what she had to get 
some money and place for us to stay for a while.  I can still remember the shock of 
sleeping in a house with air conditioner!  Ahhhhh, the little things! 

It was quite a roller coaster at times.  We went from living a very comfortable lifestyle
 to getting our food of dumpsters and waiting in lines to get handouts.  My mom 
would always tell me that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for each 
of us, we just gotta listen.  She also taught me that every person is special, worthy to 
be loved and that we mustn’t let our hardships define us but allow how we overcome 
those hardships to be our defining moments.  These were important lessons and ones 
that I would remind myself of on a regular basis.  I still remember how often folks 
would judge me, either at school or in public, and how that would make me feel.  
It was pretty obvious that we didn’t have the nicest clothes or material things. All that 
did was motivate me to work harder to prove everyone wrong, and occasionally get 
in a fight here or there.  One thing my mom cultivated in me is a sense of pride and 
dignity and to respect the same in others, which helped me get through some trying times.   
When I think back to those times, I remember that I was always happy and believed
that if I worked hard enough, things would get better and they eventually did.

At 16, I was on my own working full time and going to high school.  I didn’t have 
a lot of friends in high school because it was difficult to relate.  While most kids were 
complaining about not getting the latest shoes, I was trying to pay bills and get 
groceries.  Growing up the way I did taught me a lot but it also left a few scars.  
I found myself always searching for the next challenge to overcome, adventure, never 
backing down and always trying to be the best at everything.  A little bit of an 
over-achiever, mixed with a dash of “everything is a competition” and a sprinkle of OCD.  
This might explain some of my decisions in life and why I was drawn to the military 
and a career in law enforcement.  

As a result, I drifted from some of the very important things my mom taught me.  
First of all, learn to appreciate the little things and have faith that God will always 
provide.  We don’t have to have best of everything and things don’t have to be perfect for
us to be happy.  We just have to learn how to appreciate.  Second, everyone is 
special and has a purpose.  We all have a story to tell and we can all learn something 
from one another.  Competition can be a good thing but it can also work to separate us.  
When this happens, the seeds of shame and isolation are planted breeding fear and
insecurity.  Learn to forgive and practice empathy, learn to see things
through the eyes of others and they will learn to see through yours.

It took me along time to really understand the value and impact of what my mom 
was always trying to teach me and that it was okay to let down my guard.  I now 
know what my purpose is and, through what can only be a miracle from God, have 
been given the opportunities and ability to do pursue it.  My purpose is simple; I am 
here to fight the good fight, share my story with others and to leave this world a 
better place then when I found it.  By taking the time to appreciate what is around us,
allowing ourselves to be a  little more vulnerable and ignore the fear of what others might
say or do, we are able to follow our hearts, be happy and connect with and inspire 
others so that they may do the same.  There will always be nay-sayers and 
critics…believe me, I have met might quite a few…but remember, they do what they 
do out of their own fears.

Now married with a family, a great career and the opportunity to connect with 
and inspire others I am living the dream.  When I think back on my past, it seems 
surreal but I wouldn’t change a thing.  My hope is that I set an example for my kids 
and that this story connects with just one of you who are reading this. I believe that
by opening up and sharing my story and some of the lessons I have learned, it will 
help others in some way and even inspire someone else to do the same.  And to 
my mom, know that you have made a difference in me and now in others. If you
were to talk to her she would likely say "bless your heart" or something crazy like
"hot diggity," "dadgummit" or "I'll be a monkey's uncle!" And, finally, to you, the
reader, like my mom used to say, you are special and have a purpose.  Just take a
chance, know its ok to be vulnerable and have the faith to follow your heart and
maybe, just maybe together we can make a better world.  :)

Thanks mom, I love you.  I didn't get to build ya that spaceship, but maybe 
someone reading this will!

Mom, one of the Grandkids and I a few years ago


This is dedicated to my mom, my family and all the
wonderful people that have inspired and helped me along the way